Gag…. Twilight Saga, by Stephenie Meyer

Li'l Vampire

Sigh.

I don’t read books like this often. Twilight was definitely worse then the Shopholic books I became “involved in” while in Korea. But here it goes:  I am almost done reading the fourth and last book of the Twilight Saga, written by the lusty, voluptuous and RICH Stephenie Meyers.

This is teenaged smut (possibly at its best).  The plot is lame, the characters are flat and annoying. The main character Bella Swan, is mostly unlikeable, but somewhat endearingly stupid.

The Book:

Bella moves from Phoenix to Washington State to live with her father. At her new highschool, she meets Edward the vampire. He is godlike in appearance and utterly perfect.


Stephenie Meyer, who was a stay at home mother of three before she came up with the idea for Twilight.

He belongs to a coven of vampires, the Cullens, who do not drink blood from people. Due to high morals they choose to drink the blood of local animals they hunt. Bella and Edward fall into deep and nauseating love.

The rest of the books are about Bella and Edward resisting their raging lust until she can also become a vampire. I swear. There are some subplots, that include werewolves from a nearby Native Reserve, and a mafia-like vampire family that wants to destroy the peace-loving Cullens.  Vampire babies are also involved. Bella gets to live in a world where money means nothing and fashionable clothes are given to her. The vampires live sexy, dangerous existences.

The entire thing doesn’t seem all that believable (of course Elisha, it’s about vampires).  But there is something magical and wholly believable about some fantasy such as Harry Potter ( I gasp that some people have compared the two series) . The magic of Harry Potter could make you wish, and almost believe, that such a thing could be possible.

Instead, the Twilight Saga feels fake.  Fake in a way that is disappointing because it might be more magical if Meyer didn’t use so many melodramatic french kissing vampire scenes, or just took more care with the characters.

The pull of the books are strong, because there is something about them. Something very irresistible and almost addictive.  I am at the stage where I am only interested in seeing how it ends, but it’s turned into a struggle.  A few less unrealistic descriptions of vampire sex scenes. Please.

SO.

Quite frankly, who wouldn’t want to be a vampire? Especially if you are a hormonal, lonely and angst filled teenager. These books are successful for a reason.  It’s about an unpopular girl who gets two hot boyfriends, wealth, immortality, and super powers.

I was sort of excited  that the book might have a tragic ending wherein she stays with  the better “man”, but alas, it does not appear that Edward will be “dying” anytime soon (I have learned such useful facts as: vampires live forever and have sex ALL night long because they don’t sleep). Anyways. Meyer sort of lost me sometime between the second and  third book.

Cheers!

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Gag…. Twilight Saga, by Stephenie Meyer”

  1. This was refreshing.
    It is sad to find that the “something” about the Twilight Saga is the misunderstood angst that it feeds. I admit that I would get roped into the drama of the story (she did her research, she knows the human kind better than the vampires) I only hope that I too would become tired of the same tactics played over and over.

    This is a plea to authors. Please do not write novels to meet angsty teenager’s. Instead write novels that will inspire them to greater depths than their needs and wants. Stop writing to fill the teen section and keep writing to fill fiction, non fiction, poetry, and mystery.

    1. Thank you for such great insight into these books. I could never have said it better myself. You are freaking hilarious. I wish I had unlimited money and designer clothes given to me all the time though, that would rock. Though living forever and not sleeping would suck. I like sleep. And life is a journey that’s got to end so that you can start the next one. Man, I’m glad these didn’t come out when I was a teenager. It would’ve been a sad scene with me completely obsessed…it would’ve gotten ugly.

      You’re a great writer E. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Thanks for giving such a telling review – I’m sick to death of seeing and hearing about this series.
    You’re bang on with how it feeds the teenage ‘oh poor me’ syndrome and I love what Katrina had to say about writing books that inspire them to mature and rise above raging emotions and hormones and societal expectations.
    I was surprised though, that you didn’t pick up on the manipulative and abusive nature of the ‘relationship.’ Aside from the fact that I don’t generally read fantasy novels, simply b/c I don’t get into them personally, that was by far my biggest turn off about the whole series.
    If a teenage sex novel about vampires written by a mormon mom wasn’t enough to steer me clear – the underlying ” I hurt you, but it’s your own fault” abuse being eaten up and accepted by teens everywhere is more than enough to make me want to puke in my mouth when it comes to this series.

    1. The entire Edward- Bella relationship did not really “do it” for me either. I very much agree that the relationship was very bizarre. Bella was very much treated like a child by ALL the men in her life (father, werewolf, vampire). I really actually couldn’t stand it. I’m glad you brought it up in the comments!

  3. I’m glad it’s not just me that kinda got… bored… between books 2 and 3. I really struggled to make it through ‘Eclipse’ and haven’t even touched ‘Breaking Dawn’, though I’ve had it on my bookshelf for 13 months (birthday gift :))

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s